its been so freezing cold these past 3 days.. snowing in melb even! that's smtg that has not happened in eons! thou in the city we don't see any of that.. oni in the suburbs.. but still we feel the full effects of this cold wave.. single digit temperatures, not kidding! i've even resorted to wearing the ugly, fattening jacket that puffs like a mini penguin hhe.. cuz its the warmest thing i have! & a v gd wind-breaker jacket..

cell tonight went alright i guess.. i dunno if what i said in my emails were too harsh, or not serious enough to drive home the point.. but i reckon it was effective in some way.. but i hope they read it with my good intentions in mind, & not feel that i was lecturing them, or forcing them to do what they don't want to do..

sometimes i feel that the respect i wish i could command isn't there, & some of them can be quite insensitive to other's feelings, or are doing things that aren't really edifying to others.. & if i were to tell them what they've done wrong, i probably would either be snubbed, or be brushed off, or he/she would just tell me off.. i wonder, in their eyes, do they view me as their leader, one whom they can look up to & seek guidance from? or do they tink of me as a person who's words are not credible, who they just like, listen with one ear in, out the other.. maybe i'm really irritating, but they are just too polite to say so?

sigh, oh well.. just hope they know that i want the best for them, & i really care for them & want them to rise to their fullest potential.. whether they secretly dislike me, or are openly rude, or truly like & respect me doesn't matter.. cuz i know i should rise above such human emotions & look above.. In God's eyes i am perfect.. & i am doing my best in what i can do, drawing my strengths from Him & trying to lead a flock of His sheep.. my treasures rest in my Lord's house, forever & ever more..