i'm feeling so down & sad now.. y did things have to work out this way?

i so wanted to go for the LTC retreat.. to be there for my frens & cg members, to spend time outside the hectic city life in quiet peace with God. but no, it won't happen now. woke up this morning to clear, beautiful skies but with a storm brewing in my own home. she was displeased with smtg-i.e. ME.. somehow its always ME.. between me & her work, i can say 100% she'll choose her work over me. so ya, even thou she's agreed to me having the car for today, its all not gonna work the way we agreed on.. cuz she's now got a office meeting that she simply has to attend. so i'm the one who has to sacrifice my plans for her. she said she'll fetch me there & back, but its just not the same. & i know she won't b happy staying up to bring me home when we finish so late. plus then i would have to rush back hme according to Her timing, not my own. its no longer free & easy.. y did u agree to let me have the car in the first place if u knew that there was gonna b this meeting cmg up? now all my plans are screwed, i can't go, i can't fetch the gals there, & it all just makes me so sad. i wanted to be there, but alas no, its just not gonna happen the way i want it to. thank God that we managed to find Ben's car for the gals. i feel like i'm in a position where i always have to be subject to her mood swings & plans. when can i have my own life?

moral of the story: i need my own car! i need to move out! i need some space where she Doesn't come into the picture!